Do meu moleskine para o Mundo

2010-06-20T16:21:00.002+02:00

"In the end we discover the only condition for living is to die."

José Saramago R.I.P.

2010-04-28T17:31:00.002+02:00

So many hours trying to fall asleep,
and only 2 minutes to leave you thoughtful for a day long
with a lesson learned forever…
Never judge anyone only based on your first impression…
everybody recognises it,
but sometimes it is way stronger than you to avoid it.
An evolution reflex that can block you
from getting the best "thank you" of your life.
First, you have no reaction.
Then, you feel rewarded
for doing such an insignificant action
in any other context…
here it was incredibly significant for someone.
Sometimes, feeling and be treated as anybody else
can make such a huge difference.
Good feelings arrive
sometimes from where you least expect…

G.
April 24, 2010

2010-04-27T00:20:00.001+02:00

My head rests on the train window
while sunset brightness turns into night…
I'm still quite awake for now.
I know I'm not already there,
but I'm trying to wrap up
everything I've passed through during this drama
to return home.
Loneliness…
maybe it was the predominant feeling
but it was also many times
mixed with the introspection.
Soul mining for answers
that I still don't have
and maybe I'll never will.
I feel like I'm losing my time and openness.
I knew what I wanted…
I was ready to fight for it…
but so many times you say to forget you,
that I started to question myself
if there is still hope.
One of the main reasons I got back home
is now somehow escaping from my hands,
breaking to pieces not possible to be assembled again…
I want it so much…
but I don't know if I can do it all by my own…
And I start to think again to run away…
I did it once and we saw the result…
I don't know what will happen if I leave again,
unless your hand reaches mine in time…

G.
April 23, 2010

2010-04-10T18:43:00.000+02:00

Quando veio,
Mostrou-me as mãos vazias,
As mãos como os meus dias,
Tão leves e banais.
E pediu-me
Que lhe levasse o medo,
Eu disse-lhe um segredo:
«Não partas nunca mais»

E dançou,
Rodou no chão molhado,
Num beijo apertado
De barco contra o cais.

E uma asa voa
A cada beijo teu,
Esta noite
Sou dono do céu,
E eu não sei quem te perdeu.

Abraçou-me
Como se abraça o tempo,
A vida num momento
Em gestos nunca iguais.
E parou,
Cantou contra o meu peito,
Num beijo imperfeito
Roubado nos umbrais.

E partiu,
Sem me dizer o nome,
Levando-me o perfume
De tantas noites mais.

Eu não sei quem te perdeu - Pedro Abrunhosa

2010-03-30T14:17:00.002+02:00

Most of the times
I know what I want...
Those times are long gone.
What I'm now sure to want
is also pushing me away to uncertainty...
A similar uncertainty to the one
that also makes me want to run away
as fast as I can
without caring about what stays behind...
memories and faces from the recent past...
I want to hug you...
I want to hear you saying into my hear
that everything is going to be alright...
A gentle smile while you rest your head into my chest...
The room darkens like in a movie
while our bodies merge into a single one...
Sunshine brings a new day
filling both the space and soul with a warm and healing light...
But what do I know?
I only know what I feel now.
I'm not a believer,
but I want to believe I can do it.
No guts, no glory...
someone already said.

G.
March 30, 2010

2010-03-21T13:28:00.001+01:00

Yes, I understand that every life must end,
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go,
Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands
the ones I love,..

Some folks just have one,
yeah, others, they've got none.

Stay with me,..
Let's just breathe.

Practiced are my sins,
never gonna let me win,
Under everything, just another human being,
I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world
to make me bleed.

Stay with me,..
You're all I see.

I wonder everyday
as I look upon your face,
Everything you gave
And nothing you would take,
Nothing you would take
Everything you gave...

Did I say that I need you?
Oh, did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see,..
No one knows this more than me.
As I come clean, ah-ah...

Nothing you would take,..
Everything you gave.
Hold me till I die,..
Meet you on the other side.

Just Breathe - Pearl Jam

2010-02-02T11:39:00.000+01:00

Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Others they may cause your tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted don't be shamed to cry

You gotta be, you gotta be bad
You gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know love will save the day

Herald what your mother said
Read the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view

Time asks no questions it goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning can't stop it if you tried to
The best part is danger staring you in the face

You got to be bold, you got to be bad
You got to be wise, don't ever say it
You got to be hard, not too too hard
All I know is love will save the day

You Gotta Be - Des'ree

2010-01-15T17:45:00.000+01:00

When I travel,

I never know what to expect...

But I always assume that it’s meant to be a two-way movement.

Forecasts, strikes, sickness, delays, …

The year as just started and I’m already sick of it.

Nothing seems to work as I expect to…

There’s always some unusual thing happening to me this year.

Is this a curse from something in the past?

Hope not…

I’ll try now to remain on the shadow for a while

trying to mislead the recent wave of bad luck.

I need to return somehow soon…

I want to be with her even though she can’t be with me right now.

Will she someday?

I’ll stay in the shadow of her eyes waiting for my opportunity.

January 15, 2010

2009-11-20T16:18:00.000+01:00

The more I get around watching and listening,

more I notice the superficiality

and emptiness of certain bodies...

Save me from the typical accusation:

"After you got back,

everything here seems wrong to you..."

I see it all around,

not only here...

but now I'm listening over my mother tongue.

Sometimes I become afraid to turn like them...

I'm not perfect...

at all.

I've my own dose of doubts, fears and regrets.

Also, I'm not a violent person

but sometimes I get the impression that

some people need to be slapped hard

to make them wake up...

Finishing my coffee

and leaving...

November 19, 2009

2009-11-10T15:04:00.002+01:00

First time to take a breath in a long time…

The smell of wet grass and mud fills my lungs while I enjoy the first morning coffee…

It has been almost 2 weeks that I left but I still did not arrive...

I’m still searching for my place.

It is not there yet…

I’ll try to recover, reform and build it,

But I don’t know if I’ll make it…

Where am I?

Not yet home,

That’s for sure!

Can you help me finding it?

November 6, 2009

2009-10-31T00:53:00.002+01:00

Sun falls over the track

as if he wants to burn every plane tyres

during continuous landing attempts...

he can't...

he gives up for today...

me too...

I really hate airports.

October 29, 2009

2009-10-31T00:41:00.002+01:00

You look to the horizon

like alienated from this place...

your dark eyes don't expose any kind of emotion,

but you know I'm analysing you for a while...

you don't really care.

Your head turns again to the horizon...

In transit as me, I imagine...

it sucks to be waiting enclosed by a glass box.

I understand you...

I'm also here...

Let me join you...

Let me also check the same infinity blur...

In reality,

there is nothing else to do down here...

October 29, 2009

2009-10-28T15:53:00.001+01:00

Having you around again took me back to the past…

Even for a few moments,

It was enough to remember what is important to retain

From this long adventure:

We as a whole.

No distance or deviations can break it…

When it is true,

It stays.

Of course, I’m melancholic to see you leave once again…

But I know it is part of the process.

Occasional strong glimpses of weird collusion

Over pedestal of solid friendship.

The light is always there…

Sometimes intermittent,

But still available to illuminate my path in the darkest hours.

I couldn’t imagine a better way to say goodbye…

And, also for that, I’m eternally grateful and proud.

Thank you.

October 28, 2009

2009-10-28T15:49:00.001+01:00

Undressed empty walls…

All memories were ripped off from it and added to my own.

It’s still odd to look around and notice that everything material is turning to dust.

An object is always an object…

The feeling is in you and on those who shared it with you.

Happiness and anger,

Sadness and compassion,

Duality and complicity…

Mixed in a whirlwind of emotions

That managed to remain stable over time,

Even across misleading paths…

A lesson for life.

The door is slowly closing…

A last glimpse…

I’m ready.

October 28, 2009

2009-10-28T14:26:00.003+01:00

It couldn’t be in any other place…

I felt obliged to return here to write the final words of a long journey…

at the last day.

My bike already intrinsically knows all these spots,

But today it is the last day it takes me around.

The sun shining outside does not quite fit my current mood,

But somehow is like if it pushes me to clearly see all that I’ll miss…

All that I left behind my back but still carved within the way I see the world around.

All spotlights scream…

“You will not forget it…”

Even if I feel like leaving,

I know I cannot avoid looking back over my shoulder

And deliver a subtle smile…

Only I know what I’m leaving behind…

“Casa” is one thing… “chez moi” it’s another one…

October 28, 2009

Note: Text written at Pains & Cia. Café located here.

2009-09-09T11:25:00.004+02:00

A beautiful moment from the film "Almost Famous". It's the first time I post a video on this blog... I could not resist...

2009-09-01T09:43:00.001+02:00

I'm not loving you, the way I wanted to

What I had to do, had to run from you

I'm in love with you but the vibe is wrong

And that haunted me, all the way home

So you never know, never never know,

Never know enough, 'til it's over love

'Til we lose control, system overload

Screamin' "No! No! No! N-No!"

I'm not loving you, the way I wanted to

See I wanna move, but can't escape from you

So I keep it low, keep a secret code

So everybody else don't have to know

I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to

I can't keep my cool, so I keep it true

I got somethin to lose, so I gotta move

I can't keep myself, and still keep you too

So I keep in mind, when I'm on my own

Somewhere far from home, in the danger zone

How many times did I tell ya fo it finally got through

You lose, you lose

I'm not lovin' you, the way I wanted to

See I had to go, see I had to move

No more wastin' time, you can't wait for life

We're just racin' time, where's the finish line

I'm not lovin you, the way I wanted to

I bet no one knew, I got no one new

I know I said I'm through, but got love for you

But I'm not lovin' you, the way I wanted to

Gotta keep it goin', keep the lovin' goin'

Keep it on a roll, only God knows

If I be with you, baby I'm confused

You choose, you choose

I'm not lovin' you, the way I wanted to

Where I wanna go, I don't need you

I've been down this road, too many times before

I'm not lovin' you, the way I wanted to

So keep your love locked down

Keepin' your love locked down

Now keep your love locked down

You lose

Love lockdown ~ Kanye West

2009-08-30T00:57:00.002+02:00

Sitted on the airport floor,

waiting for the bus to take me to the last period or this 3-year long adventure...

The sun shines,

for now...

August 29, 2009

2009-08-19T17:57:00.001+02:00

I want them to know it's me

It's on my head

I'll point the finger at me

It's on my head

Give it all to you, then I'll be closer

Smiling with the mouth of the ocean

And I'll wave to you with the arms of the mountain

I'll see you

I will let you shout no more

It's on my head

I'll pick you up from the floor

It's on my head

I'll let you even the score

It's on my head

Give the same to me, then I'll be closer

Ashes to Ashes ~ Faith No More

2009-08-16T13:00:00.003+02:00

O coaxar das rãs ao longe mistura-se com o cantar dos grilos mais próximos.

é esta a atmosfera sonora que quase me faz adormecer na cama de rede sob o céu estrelado, rasgado por ocasionais estrelas cadentes.

Ainda assim, aqui fora algo me mantém desperto e não me estou a referir aos teimosos insectos que tentam (e conseguem) provar o meu doce (?) sangue.

Composições de estrelas relembram-me histórias e situações antigas que julgava passadas, mas que continua a fazer sentido e a obrigar-me a questionar...

talvez seja uma quebra do momento... talvez seja mais complicado que isso.

Não a posso resolver agora, mas tenho receio que mais logo seja já tarde demais.

A mão tenta avançar, mas mesmo que conseguisse alcançar...teria de largar mais uma vez.

Será que ainda estará la da próxima vez?

August 15, 2009

(Woodstock'69 40th birthday)

2009-08-05T19:58:00.002+02:00

Sun outside,

Me inside,

Welcome to my own summer!

August 5, 2009

2009-07-31T00:28:00.001+02:00

Helplessly,

laying on this bed,

words don't want to come out...

The signal cannot be translated

from brain connectors

to my fingertips...

I need some kind of motivation

to wake me up somehow!

I'm just starting to get a glimpse

of my near future lifestyle...

and I'm not comfortable with it.

It's hard to realize

that everything is about to change

within simply 3 months...

3 months of work,

moving,

exposition,

packing,

and goodbyes...

I'll finally leave my 3 years old nest...

I hope my wings

can support all the weight

and provide an effortless landing.

July 30, 2009

2009-07-28T21:29:00.001+02:00

I'm home alone tonight.
Full moon illuminates my room, and sends my mind aflight.
I think I was dreaming up some thoughts that were seemingly
possible...with you.

For years, I kept it to myself.
Now potentialities are bound, are living under my shelf.
Simply choose your destination from the diamond canopy,
and we'll be there.

So I call you on the tin can phone.
We rendezvous by quarter-to, and make sure we're alone.
I think I've found the way for you and I to finally be free...

When we get there, we're gonna fly so far away,
Making sure to laugh... while we experience anti-gravity.

Anti-gravity love song ~ Incubus

2009-07-05T20:05:00.001+02:00

Walking across town,

Crossing streets filled with people.

I look closer and they vanish…

I’m now in a ghost town.

The crowd turns to smoke…

I’m now walking alone.

I don’t stop.

Place, landscapes, corners and details…

They are all still here.

My mind searches and finds…

Memories of feelings and events,

Hellos and goodbyes,

Party and hangover,

Excitement and melancholy,

smiles and tears…

but seen from this distance,

it simply make my lips move to a kind smile of accomplishment.

The past does not want me to forget…

I won’t…

But the wonderland is now a ghost town.

July 5, 2009

2009-07-03T21:57:00.000+02:00

Tender is the night

Lying by your side

Tender is the touch

Of someone that you love too much

Tender is the day

The demons go away

Lord I need to find

Someone who can heal my mind

Come on, Come on, Come on

Get through it

Come on, Come on, Come on

Love's the greatest thing

That we have

I'm waiting for that feeling

I'm Waiting for that feeling

Waiting for that feeling to come

Tender is the ghost

The ghost I love the most

Hiding from the sun

Waiting for the night to come

Tender is my heart

I'm screwing up my life

Lord I need to find

Someone who can heal my mind

Oh my baby...

Oh why?

Oh my?

Tender ~ Blur